I have great news for local La Mancha dairy goats seeking employment: Honey Doe Farm & Creamery is hiring!
Let me start off by telling you, my dear applicants, what would be expected of you as an employee here at the dairy.
We do expect our girls to kid once a year – generally in January, along with all of your peers at the same time. You’ll be expected to settle easily when paired with a buck as well, but you’ll find we recruit some very nice fellows, so it shouldn’t be a problem.
After kidding, we do expect you to show up to work, both morning and evening. We have a very nice milking parlor, so you won’t find the experience unpleasant. Please do not make us chase you about – tardy employees don’t often stay employed! You’ll need to learn our milking routine quickly and follow it consistently, but we assure you it is very easy to understand. We do require that you give us all of your milk during these milkings, but the process is quite short and you’ll be on your way again. We do, of course, provide both breakfast and dinner, to be enjoyed during milking.
We really appreciate employees with cheerful demeanor and friendly attitudes, who enjoy a good scratch on the head. An employee who brightens the day often finds other shortcomings are overlooked! You’ll have quite a lot of co-workers, so social butterflies will be right at home here.
Now that you’ve heard what will be expected of you – and such a short list it is! – I must also discuss what we do not want here at the dairy. All applicants must be healthy, and proof will of course be required. There are many illness we will not tolerate, and new hires will be expected to complete new testing and a quarantine period. This is for the good of everyone, and we promise the time will just fly by!
Let’s turn to far more pleasant thoughts – the perks of working here! Not only will your provided meals during milking be of the highest quality, but there is free choice hay available at all times of the day throughout the entire year. What’s more, during most of the season, you will be allowed to roam and freely browse a large area between milkings. Never fear – well trained security guards accompanies the herd during these outings, so you can enjoy turn out comfort.
We also offer two months paid time off between the end of the milking season and the birthing of new kids. When your time comes, you will have an experienced midwife, day and night, who will assist you if needed. What’s more – we allow our does to keep and raise their doelings that are chosen to remain on the farm. If you’re looking to build a family, this is the place to go! If kid raising is not for you, however, you can leave your offspring in the hands of our on site staff.
That’s correct, applications – you will have on site staff available to you, 24/7, 365 days a year, for all of your needs.
We reward does who put in the hard work to produce both quality kids and offspring with both fully supported retirement, as well as disability leave for goats who have unfortunate accidents or illness that prevent their future production.
We do need to inform you that upon becoming an employee here at Honey Doe Farm & Creamery, you will appear in advertising and our Youtube channel, including both photographs and video, not excluding sex tapes.
If you think you’re the right goat for the job, we look forward to hearing from you!